It's been such a whirlwind these past few months. "Darkness was my only friend" -Yebba says. Okay! I may be acting slightly melodramatic. But I can't lie, time for awhile has stopped. I am indeed one of the blessed ones. God has given me so many talents and abilities. But honestly sometimes it felt like someone dumped a ton of tools in front of me and told me to build a house.
I'm stuck looking at hammers , nails, wood panels, piping and more. I know in my head this all makes a home, but where do i even start?
So because I am so completely overwhelmed with the amount of things in front of me , the daunting notion that I have never done something like this before and a slight case of crippling fear. I just sit there. Time passes and frustrations grow. Which causes anxiety and more self doubt.
Am i good enough?
Do i have all i need to complete the task?
What if my house doesn't look like everyone elses?
That's a journal entry I began writing a few months ago in attempts to hopefully convince myself I am indeed on the right path. But the reality is I never finished that blog post. It cut prematurely like the Heroes series. I don't know what this years chapter is called but mannn it's a tough one. The protagonist has faced a heap of obstacles, triumphs, world winds and more. I'm currently writing at 7:46pm on a Tuesday evening to keep from crying the loss of a dear classmate and friend (Love you Ralph).
Let's be honest. I don't have the slightest idea where i go from here. I don't know what's next or if i even have what all it takes to make my dreams come true let alone get through the next few moments. Most days it can feel like we're Sims characters in a game of life. No clear direction or goal. But even in those moments of "go with the flow" we have a purpose. Life ends so abruptly. You never know where the next life altering experience is coming from. Tomorrow is not promised.
In this moment all I do know is I can't stop... we can't. The world can weigh on you heavy but this isn't the end.
We have to spend the rest of our lives living fully, giving abundantly, loving openly and working hard daily to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be. With that and God guiding our steps we need not worry about the minuet day to day pressures.
Where do we go from here... FORWARD!
This is to all my loves who feel lost because of work, family issues, deaths, anxiety, etc...
You aren't alone.
Stay the path. Please don't give up!
The world needs more kind hearted people.
Trust in God and trust in yourself.
I love you!
Until next time, Live Life Royally <3
Ralph King, thank you for being the change the world needed to see RIP